Well, I can honestly say that I can relate to Elin Woods in that I too had married a man who never stopped dating. Of course, in her situation, I cannot even imagine how she is handling all this publicity concerning a very intimate and devastating personal crisis.
For me, I never wanted to put two and two together. I would get the phone calls from random women asking me if they could speak to my husband by his name. I would answer, “He is not here right now. Can I take a message?” She would say, “Is this his sister?” I would say, “No, his wife” and the woman on the other line would answer, “His wife!!!!!” and slam down the phone. That was just the beginning. These things continued to progress until he was gone on weekends and then week days with a variety of excuses. I wanted to believe that he was as committed to me as I was to him. I wanted to believe that our marriage was based on love and mutual respect. I wanted to believe all the excuses and rationalize the lies for OUR marriage and my personal integrity.
Speaking from personal experience, how can you stay in a marriage with someone who wants you to look good in Christmas cards for his image but who does not have the ability to stop behaving in a way that brings rejection and separation? There are some people who cannot commit to one person. Affairs are exciting. If you can keep having affairs, you don’t ever have to deal with the day to day mundane aspects of Monday through Fridays of life. You can just keep running and jumping and playing and whispering and texting…
When you are married to someone like that, there is no trust. You have to seek much wisdom in knowing what to do once you know the truth. The hard look you must take at your life may be more revealing than you are prepared to see. If you have a spouse that has never stopped dating, the problem began way before you ever got near the altar. If he or she has no desire to commit to the marriage, then the next steps will involve picking up the pieces of your life and moving on. There is life after divorce. Each season in life does pass. And, God still loves you and has a plan for your life. I am a living testimony that despite the pain, God is faithful through every trial and hardship life brings. Tonilee