Bobbye and I spoke at Professional Women’s Fellowship last week. The topic was “Depression and the Holidays.” No one wants to think that the holidays could be associated with depression. We want to think that it is a time of joy and peace. However, the holidays can also be very  stressful. We already have no margin in our lives on an everyday basis and then we have to add more things in our less time schedules.

The holidays are also “remembrance markers.” In other words, if we received a great gift during a Christmas, we remember it. We might not remember which Christmas year but we definitely remember it was Christmas time. If we get into a family conflict or a death occurs during the holidays, every holiday season brings it back to mind.  Days can go by into weeks without having a remembrance marker but at the holidays, we remember the good and the bad things that have happened  during other holidays. As a result, the holidays can be painful.

So for some of us, we find ourselves needing to act happy when deep down, we are really sad. How do we deal with ourselves while having such conflicting emotional pulls?

I really believe that in order to heal from past wounds that have happened during the holidays, we have to give some constructive thought and give some carved out time to those things that have hurt us. We need the ability to take a break, sit down and reason with the Lord over them, especially during the holidays.

Bobbye was telling me the other day that she woke up at 2am to wrestle with the Lord about certain thoughts that continue to pull at her heart. She said, “I have to keep this concern close to the Lord. I have to depend on Him to work with my thoughts so I do not take this matter into my own hands.” She is a wise woman (and a good friend).

She has learned that it is not good to push down and suppress the conflicts because they will resurface. It is also not good to regurgitate your thoughts over and over or have practice sessions in your mind of what we should have, could have or would have said.  The more time we give to our own negative thoughts and incidences, the less ability we will have to reasonably make wise decisions.

Instead, we bring these things to the Lord. He is the only One who has the ability to change the situation or to change our perspective. We need to reason with the Lord until we know that our concerns are fully before Him. We need to be brutally honest with Him as He already knows what we are thinking and feeling. Then, when we get up from putting those things down, we can continue to live for Him instead of giving the time and attention to the conflict.

As the thoughts return, it is important to take it captive and say, “I have given that situation to the Lord. It is His concern now. I am choosing to trust Him.”

When I look back on my life, it has not been hassle free. I have had to deal with many conflicts and struggles as we all do. However, I can honestly tell you that the Lord has a way of working through them all if you allow Him to move in your heart and mind and you give Him time. God is on an eternal clock. He is not in a rush, not even during the Holidays.